Week 3: INF Editing Notes

INF EDITS WEEK 3

Read these over closely. Ask if you don’t understand. Some of this could end up on the lecture exams because it is stuff you need to know.

DESCRIPTIVE PHRASES: Each district will also have to cooperate with its teacher’s union to come to a salary agreement. That would be TEACHERS UNION

SEE AP SECTION ON POSSESSIVES

DESCRIPTIVE PHRASES: Do not add an apostrophe to a word ending in s when it is used primarily in a descriptive sense: citizens band radioa Cincinnati Reds infieldera teachers collegea Teamsters requesta writers guide.

Memory Aid: The apostrophe usually is not used if for or by rather than of would be appropriate in the longer form: a radio band for citizensa college for teachersa guide for writersa request by the Teamsters.

An ‘s is required, however, when a term involves a plural word that does not end in sa children’s hospitala people’s republicthe Young Men’s Christian Association.

DESCRIPTIVE NAMES: Some governmental, corporate and institutional organizations with a descriptive word in their names use an apostrophe; some do not. Follow the user’s practice: Actors’ EquityDiners Clubthe Ladies’ Home Journalthe National Governors Association. See separate entries for these and similar names frequently in the news.

DEAD CONSTRUCTIONS & PASSIVE VOICE: Editors work to make sentences stronger by cutting away the detritus:

DEAD: Throughout the run, there will be five zones where runners will have orange and blue powder thrown on them.

ALIVE: Throughout the run, participants will go through five zones where  WHO will throw orange and blue powder on them.

DEAD: There were nearly 5.7 million people receiving unemployment aid

ALIVE: nearly 5.7 million people were receiving unemployment aid

HEADLINES: “2 people….” “7%”

At all the publications I have worked for, in headlines you can violate AP style for space – you could say 7% or use numerals –  though i would find out what your publication’s style is on this. With online headlines space is often not a concern, so publication may stick with style in heds.

IRONIC STORY: Just for fun check out this story: http://www.wuft.org/news/2013/01/23/lulu-app/ What I find interesting is it is ironic that FB began as a way for Harvard men to rate women.

COMMA SPLICE & HOWEVER IS NOT A CONJUNCTION: “Preliminary indications are that the fire was caused by an electrical problem in the attic,” he said,” however that remains under investigation.” Comma splice. However is not a conjunction like and or but. Common, common mistake – read about these and other sentence problems at https://intelligentediting.wordpress.com/2011/05/30/kinds-of-sentences/

AND THIS IS A RUN-ON SENTENCE: The challenge began Jan. 12, and more than two dozen pythons have been killed and UF experts are using them for research.

SO IS THIS: Members of the Senate currently have the choice to opt out of these plans and Rep. Nugent said he wants to give House members the same option.

AND THIS IS A COMMA SPLICE AND A RUN-ON: One lane of traffic will be able to use the bridge at a time, there is going to be heavy equipment in there and they’ll have to ….
HEADLINE COMMA SPLICE: Slew of homes burglarized, officials urge locals to take precaution THIS IS TWO INDEPENDENT CLAUSES CONNECTED WITH A COMMA. THAT WOULD BE A COMMA SPLICE. IN HEADLINES, A PERIOD IS INDICATED BY A SEMI-COLON.

 MEETING HELD LEAD: Gainesville Mayor Craig Lowe gave his state of the city address Wednesday, focusing on the progress the city has made over the past year. In addition, he addressed what needs to be done in the future. THIS IS A MEETING-WAS-HELD LEAD. PUT SOME NEWS IN LEAD. THIS IS NOT HARD TO DO. IF YOU CAN’T, THEN NO NEWS EXISTS.

PR SPEAK: “The City of Gainesville stands willing …” PRESS RELEASE TYPES WHO HAVE NOT TAKEN MY CLASS INSIST ON DOING THIS – CITY WOULD NOT BE CAPITALIZED, EVEN IF IT WAS IN PRESS RELEASE.

BE MORE APPOSITIVE: Chairman of the Alachua County Republican Party Stafford Jones …  WHEN YOU RUN INTO LONG TITLE LIKES THIS IN FRONT OF NAME – PUT IT IN THE APPOSTIVE: Stafford Jones, chairman of the Alachua County Republican Party, Jones … NOTE WHAT HAPPENED TO TITLE CHAIRMAN.

MORE APPOSITIVE:

BACKGROUND FOR YOUR READERS’ SAKE: I heard some INF editors had an interesting discussion about how much back story they should include for readers. A reference in Obama’s inaugural speech to the Stonewall riots seemed commonplace at first, but after some debate, they decided they needed to explain what the historic event was for those who don’t follow gay history. YES, I SAY! I SHOULD NOTE THE TV NETWORK I WATCHED ON SPEECH DAY PAUSED IN DISCUSSION OF SPEECH TO CLARIFY WHAT STONEWALL WAS ALL ABOUT.

GOVERNMENTAL BODIES: The phrase “sheriff’s office” when referring to a known office should be capitalized, AP says.  Just apply the rule for police departments.

police department In communities where this is the formal name, capitalize police department with or without the name of the community: the Los Angeles Police Departmentthe Police Department.

If a police agency has some other formal name such as Division of Police, use that name if it is the way the department is known to the public. If the story uses police department as a generic term for such an agency, putpolice department in lowercase.

GOVERNMENTAL BODIES 2: As long as we are on the subject, I am seeing the lower-case mistake all over. Here is part of the rule from AP on legislature:

legislature Capitalize when preceded by the name of a state: the Kansas Legislature.

Retain capitalization when the state name is dropped but the reference is specifically to that state’s legislature:

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) – Both houses of the Legislature adjourned today.

FATHERLESS: Father Roland Julien has been participating in the annual parade for years and believes that the message of equality should continue today. If you are a Catholic or Episcopalian, you can call your priest Father. But if you are a journalist, you cannot. See religious titles in AP/

LAYERING IT ON: Bivens Cove homicide victim’s adopted son charged with murder TOO MANY LAYERS IN THIS HEADLINE – CREATES CONFUSION WITH ESSENTIALLY FIVE ADJECTIVES IN FRONT OF SON. MAYBE:
Adopted son of Bivens Cove homicide victim charged with murder

BE PERFECT: The Gainesville Police Department HAS ruled the death of 63-year-old Roxie Scott-Kotb a homicide and charged her adopted son, Darryl Dewayne Scott, with the killing.
House Republicans HAVE agreed to lift the federal government’s statutory borrowing limit for three months,  IF NO TIME ELEMENT – USE THE PERFECT TENSE – SEE THIS: The Time Elements and Tenses Rule https://intelligentediting.wordpress.com/2011/10/06/the-time-elements-and-tenses-rule/

 

EGADS: said Ben Tobias, public information officer for the Gainesville Police Department. JUST SAY POLICE SPOKESMAN
EGADS 2: Karen Parker, the commission’s public information coordinator,  THE COMMISSION SPOKESWOMAN

 I AM IN THE SUBJUNCTIVE MOOD: According to the Sun Sentinel, the bill would not affect current employees but will end the pension plan for new hires as of January 2014. & The bill will affect state and county employees Those wills need to be woulds.

THE COURAGE OF YOUR CONVICTIONS: The attacker, 30-year-old Eric Lee Ramsey, abducted the woman from Central Michigan University’s campus. YOU CANNOT MAKE ASSERTIONS LIKE THIS WITHOUT SOME ATTRIBUTION – LIKE POLICE SAID THE ATTACKER … IF NOT, YOU ARE CONVICTING THE PERP.

AND THROW ALLEGEDLY FROM THE TRAIN: Suspect William Clark is in custody after allegedly punching a young woman in the head, dragging her by the ankles and throwing her onto train tracks in Philadelphia. 5 MILLIONS POINTS OFF IF YOU USE THE WORD ALLEGEDLY – READ THIS: Allegedly Innocent Suspects http://www.poynter.org/uncategorized/69578/word-watch-allegedly-innocent-suspects/

DRUG TEST: Deputies also found a Hyrdocodone tablet DRUG TEST RULE: WHENEVER YOU SEE A DRUG MENTIONED IN A STORY, CHECK TO SEE IF IT IS A GENERIC TERM AND THUS LOWER CASE, WHICH IN THIS CASE IS THE CASE. DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THAT.

NO COMMA. WHY? JUST BECAUSE The burglaries have been categorized as “snatch and grabs,” because the stolen items DESPITE WHAT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH TEACHER TOLD YOU, YOU DO NOT NEED A COMMA BEFORE BECAUSE

 AND A FINAL ARRESTING STATEMENT: Headline: Gang member arrested for marijuana and weapons charges in Gainesville – YOU ARE ARRESTED “ON” CHARGES, NOT FOR

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